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In Other News

Monday, September 08, 2003

And now for the bigger headline... I've changed religion. Again. Everybody laugh now, Hahlolrofl, etc. Good ol' predictable me. I've been labeled "Changes-With-Wind" by many of those whom I hold close. I wonder what that sounds like in Navajo or some other Native American language. Forgive me, this is hard enough, so I'm using my sarcasm to cover. Three weeks ago I joined the ranks of the Christians. This was just before finding out we were prego. Just before the "miraculous" repair of our marriage and other things. Why? Lemme tell you. I have never been a gambling person. I hate odds, I hate the unknown. I've been in constant battle with everything around me for pretty much the entire eleven years I've been out of the house. I'm a competent, sometimes even intelligent person. I have good survival skills in this little world of mine and all that I need. All except the uncertainty part. I have always had the perfect plan for the future, always knowing what I'm doing in the present, always done pretty well at learning from my mistakes. But all that didn't cover the odds when facing the future. "What if this part doesn't work right?" or "where does this choice lead me?" always occured at just the right place to give me the chills. When faced with these questions, I'd bang my head against the wall and double my efforts to perfect my plans and cover all loose ends. Of course you know that means NADA in this psycho-ward. So, with all my thrashing, I wasn't getting anywhere. Life, the universe, the relationship, everything. And then I got hit with the twobyfour of faith. I found what was needed to cover for the unpredictables. I have something to work for of lasting value, I have help with the screwups and a real motivation to get life in general squared away. So I found God, standing there at my doorstep (not literally, for all you folks wondering about my possible affiliation with the god of that guy in line to get fried). NOTE: This wasn't exactly easy. I've not dropped everything and donned some robe and such (tried that as a pagan). I'm looking at things differently, and seeing things I've done incorrectly in a very different light. I'm having trouble working out how to have a Christian relationship with all my friends and especially my family and children. I'm really in a quandry about some stuff, but that's all to be worked out eventually. Being saved is kinda scary in a lot of ways. I shouldn't be worried about it, but most of my relationships have or will change on me. I'm sad to say I expect most will not continue on the close level I've enjoyed over the years. I hope I'm spared some of the bad, but again, we'll see. That's the most I can put down on this right now. Actually, it's a pretty accurate run-down of what's circling in this cranial vacuum of mine of late.

Prego

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Now that just about everybody knows it, I can post this one. I'm rather miffed at the lack of postal efficiency which resulted in some people getting the card early and some not at all so far. At 37 cents a pop, that's really friggin' rotten service, actually. I could get a soda more efficiently for only 13 cents more. Anyhow. We're knocked up. Again. That'll make four in the brood. No, we're not trying for a basketball team and NO, we're still not interested in a boy. You'd figure, after three girls, we'd be pretty suited up for another one. And besides, if the General Management Upstairs saw fit to introduce such a wonderful bundle of new edition to our family, not taking into consideration that I've been disabled for nearly THREE YEARS, they might want to give us the choice in sex, at least. About being fixed. Hey, if the General Management wants to, the operation was certainly not under warranty and could quite easily be temporary, reversal by natural causes is perfectly fine. Not very good odds though (one in five thousand regenerate, I think). I (we) aren't complaining, however. It's quite a relationship builder after all we've been through. I'm kinda proud, very excited, very dedicated (this time). It gives me the chance to really get involved and help and all that good daddy stuff. By the way, if anybody knows where to get a minivan that doesn't SUCK, I kinda need one all of a sudden. Can you believe SIX of us? That's pretty stinkin' impressive. Gwennie is all excited because now she gets to be a Big Sister. Roen, of course, has somebody else to tell what to say. Molly is all about helpin' with everything. Haven't got the cats' opinions on everything. LJ will probably try eating the baby, and Stitch will most likely pee on her. That's pretty much what they do to everything else around here. I never imagined matching my parents' child-rearing prowess. I guess that's that.

Japanenglishese

Friday, August 29, 2003

Just because LIB did it, I though I would try.  I used the same procedure from my first ten items on the 101 things about me entry.  Whoa.  No wonder we can’t all get along.

Babel Fish Translation Help

In English: 

Because I can grasp the crayon, in order for I to draw up the Isao strange masterpiece, concerning me who was tried thing of 101. At all, making the paper with respect to appearance in my masterpiece there is no or colors other every physical medium with the crayon. I do not raise the stomach frequently. Usually I more frequently obtain with the technology of the atlas. I really am the skinny. My tattoo is confused many people from the character where I am thin. I obtained my tattoo between age of 19 and 22. As for me for the sake of and lusting the ever since that. I have written this with age of 29. I exceeding 22, as made that, as for that you do not feel. 

I can do this without the Japanenglish babelfish:

My hair beats ten tulips without have poot in red tin phillips can.  Stick pink watoozie fire in longest line of bed linen provided.

(I typed all that up myself.  I’m fluent in Japanese.)

And, just so I can show off a bit, being in the fine mood in which I am. I will add in some of my own translation work. I wish I had a font making program that was easy enough to use, so I could render Iseah in characters, but I am stuck with the phonetic spelling. All the vowels are latinish (ah, eeh, eh, oh, ooh). Here is my language, Iseah. I translated the song "in dreams" from the LOTR soundtrack. Kuan iaso esha am'esha'i al'andai kielnevan iosh ko'tielneva. so iki'andayel tai adia al'ayalo so. aslia toban'i. val so tial'an nok dan'am amada'im so tial'an al'alagan'imam bashe'i kuan moga lasa'n mesanvala'n kuan asho'imam so kilnevan'an te'i dan'am me so mean i'me'am so al'ala'm so osho basha "When the cold of winter comes starless night will cover day in the veiling of the sun we will walk in bitter rain but in dreams I still hear your name and in dreams we will meet again when the seas and mountains fall and we come to end of days in the dark I hear a call calling me there I will go there and back again."

Fired

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Tomorrow is the last day of work. I'm laid off. If only the good part of it was true. I still have to come in on time every day. They just restructured, which resulted in my office being reduced to a hazy gray area that doesn't really exist. Maybe I'll get reassigned to a better job. I didn't like the one I was doing anyway. Pretty much got stuck being a paperbitch and errandboy. Not what I signed up for. But, new horizons are in view. I'm released to start my part-time job, which is vastly more entertaining. It'll almost double my annual income too. That will make me VERY happy. We need the moolah to buy a new car (cool minivan like Lib's) and get new stuff for Anika. I have a whole new wing for my library which needs to be pursued too, and the initial setup for the thing is gonna run me something to the tune of a grand. I have so many projects and priorities to spend money on. This new job will make it a bit easier to make the goals. Needless to say, we're in so much better shape together, that I can make semi-normal entries. But what's normal in a blog?

Miracles

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Not too long after I started making the entries in here, Lib made an entry which was righter than most, including me, would've expected. Of course, hardly anything that happens in my life could be described as simple or even easy. Lib knows me pretty well after all these years, but I've been known to pull a good surprise on even my greatest critics from time to time. Still, she called it right. Nothing short of miracles. With major shifts in philosophy, religion (yep, I said it) and some REALLY recent stuff which I cannot divulge, the pooka program has finally taken a turn for the best. I know, riddles and secrets abound, but not for too much longer. I'm just aligning these entries and their content so as not to interfere with snailmail and other communications media. It'll be understood in due time, soonest, promptly, quick, whatever.

Changes

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Delayed entries have to happen sometimes. I've been a bit busy repairing my life. My marriage is no longer on the rocks. Actually, it's more on the tracks than it was when we started. No, I'm not advertising the particulars of the solution yet. I'm still working out the timing and wording. BUT. I can say that my three wonderful kiddos are responding very positively to the change in the home atmosphere and have nearly reverted to normal demons instead of borg-juicer-demons. My wonderful, beautiful, smart, sweet (blahblahblah) wife is mine again. We're not at each other's throats or anything else (except when necking, which is at an all-time high compared to the past few years). This time it's permanent. We've found a decent superglue system to put us back together, and we're overjoyed to not only be cooperating and loving, but so much more at peace and ready to deal with the real issues (raising kids, ganging up on the rest of the world, planning a future). What more to say? We'll leave the suspense account overdrafted for a bit more.

Immense

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Not everything is fixed. Much needs to be done. We have, however, begun to work from a common ground. I can't really bring myself to say what the catalyst is except that it is probably the least expected but most powerful influence I can imagine. We've hit catastrophy after every time we've tried to get close until now. I can't explain it right now because I'm not ready to face the aftermath of what this all means. Cryptic? You bet, but that is of course the other side of me. Lets just say that at approximately 4:45 pm on the 14th of August, in the year 2003, I hit the end of my road. The road conveniently was back at the bottom of my personal mountain, and nothing is left but the way back up. This time, however, it's not just me on the path. I have help and I can't begin to describe the immense feelings in me with this knowlege. It's been 12 years since I gave up on the idea, and it seems like only yesterday. I have to append the dedication now. Ben, Mom, Anika, the rest of this is for you as well.

Dang

Saturday, August 09, 2003

I was mistaken. Truce broken, no treaty. I think it was my fault. I allowed myself to engage in an argument. I was defensive and even a bit angry by the end of it. She won by calling an end to it. Here are the questions of the day. 1. My philosophy is to avoid the oncoming Mack truck. The law of gross tonnage translates quite clearly to get out of the way of anything bigger than you are. Question not whether it will dodge you. I did this the other day with the BBSUV and was attacked for it. I will quote Heinlein on this: "It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion. I say it is better still to be a live lion, and maybe easier." A lion knows when not to get in a fight. Why is that wrong enough to hurt our relationship? 2. My ideals are a combined result of several years of living an unusual life and encountering unusual people, all of whom are exceptionally intelligent. Counted high among these people and experiences are my wife and our life together. Suddenly, it seems I am faced with compulsory revision or deletion of some of my core ideals. Is it necessary to do so in order to preserve our relationship? 3. RELIGION. I do not approve of many of the teachings of organized religion. I do not believe that church, faith, ritual or any other religious concept is integral to my existence. I feel that, all my life, the church has taught me more falsehoods than truths. HOWEVER, I usually keep my trap shut about this. I do not condemn others' religious choices in deed or word. I do not attend church. I will not be coerced into attending church for any reason. To participate in this farce is a breach of my integrity. Why is this an issue in preserving our relationship? 4. Forgive my objectivist tendencies, but if someone wants help, is anyone obliged to jump up from their own personal war with their own demons to help their neighbor battle it out with something completely unrelated? I am willing to help, within my abilities, with any issue. Does this mean I have to put my life or my vital dealings on hold? 5. If something is bad for you... I'm not talking about smoking or beer or talking too loud... But really bad, such as a dangerous, untrustworthy, criminal existing in your house, what do you do? My personal approach to the situation would be either rid my house of the threat or rid myself of the house. I am receiving unfounded attacks upon my character. This is not just some aspect of my character, but ALL of me. I am starting to have a split personality of which my other half is a drunk, abusive, criminal, crazed sort of "trailer-trash" bum/male. I swore not to take this personally, but C'MON! I'll stop now. That was the Saturday 5. I'm on the couch again, so you know where to reach me. Just a stone's throw from this here monitor, yall hear? UstaCould I'd be up in at der bedroom makin' whoopie. Now I just sit round chear drinkin', spittin' and cussin' at stuff. I need ta git me a dawg.

Test Run

Gave up the couch last night. Tried having much missed company in bed. Pleasant, but I really started getting attached to the couch. It's really comfortable. I finished the Star-Trek leadership book. Don't read it. BLEK! The theories are great, but the illustrations, which are pulled directly from TNG episodes are junk. Somebody came up with a list of leadership values and then tried to fit what appears to be randomly chosen episodes to those values. GARBAGE. And the lingo was that of a wannabe trekkie (Wheaton-lovers) (throw toast). I am not a trekkie, but have sufficient experience with such people that I can recognize dumb when I see it. These authors are just what I would expect to show up at the Ren wearing Klingon garb. I like this url-link stuff. It's really fun. I got up with the kiddies this morning, and we watched HPATSS for the umpteenth time. Pancakes and ham and such followed, then construction of a lego castle. What a fun morning. Mama got to sleep in and we had ourselves Daddytime. Things seem to be cooling down, and life is more pleasant for now. Still awaiting the Jericho syndrome to come full circle.

Truce

Friday, August 08, 2003

Everyone who has been in my place before me has heard of or used this word. I think we have reached truce, but where does it lead us? Truce is nothing more than cease-fire. No resolution has been made, no reward but the alleviation of total conflict. I will continue to push for answers to our relationship's problems. This, I hear, is called the "Seven Year Itch." Whatever it is called, I am determined not to take this lightly nor be smoothed over like the crunchy peanut butter on the sandwich bread. Maybe we can begin discussions again without open argument. If that happens, great, but it isn't the solve. I still believe we need to take this outside our little arena and get a translator. I think the counselor might be the way to go. My other half needs to be willing to work on this idea also, though. In other news, my military situation appears to have ramped up. Some things I have been waiting on since arriving here in the "best little secret in the Navy" are finally getting up to speed. I might be working for real soon. I'm hearing also from my potential second job some tunes that I might be starting up soon. That'll bring in a good bit more cash and will begin to set me up for success in my long-term career after the Federal Yacht Club dues are up. Relations at work are okay. I'm not feeling quite as tired as earlier this week. Took the kiddies to Chuck E Rat's pizza joint today. I haven't had fun like that in quite awhile. Quite worth the offensively squandrous amount of cash we spent there. Note to inexperienced patrons: DO NOT accompany your kid in the "ball-crawl-tunnel-slide-thingy." Based on my tactile and olfactory receptions in there, they don't clean it enough. YUCK! If I were to go there regularly, boiling water and bleach deluge once a week would not keep that joint free of the greasysweatycheesydirtydroolybarfyleakyfootfunkysneezy demon that infests the Chuck E Rat's playground. I must be getting back to normal. My run-on sarcasm and non-humor has returned.