Encryption Revisited
Friday, October 22, 2004
Some thoughts developing from Encryption are still lingering. Like the end of a good pipe, still slightly warm, acrid, wistful. I may well try to “reveal” the skeletons of the old poetry. And the new, when the time comes.
I may find something useful in baring the soul of each annual version of me. And I think, almost, that each year may actually mark a different version, or flavor to my writing. Of course there’s that spell during which there was none. It was filled more with art. My disillusionment with Wicca put an end to that and I started writing again.
I’m nervous about being not-alone again, and whether that’ll kill off the creative bug once more. I need some catalyst that keeps me on it, besides distance. Distance hurts too much. There needs to be something that allows me to introspect, if that’s what I do, while still maintaining the life I’m in. This separation crap, though, isn’t good, not worth it.
And I do want to revisit some old volumes. Dusty stuff that was left open. Maybe I can do that. I don’t know. I’m working on that as I type. Will be for some time, I’m sure. But Paperscreams may be the way to keep going and also do the reflection and explaining I feel compelled to attempt.
I’ve had so much fear of getting myself into trouble over time, that it’s ingrained, I think. Bad habit, probably. I think I broke that habit with A, which is VERY good. But it’s still lingering in many places. L is one large space for certain. Would rather speak clearly, now, than just leave it any more. Time runs out, eventually, and then what does one do? Regret more. Regret that this wasn’t done, that not tried, the other thing not considered.